Haakon Sumner

(first time holding him!)

Another dream pregnancy (well the first half anyway) in fact, I didn't puke ONCE! I think I only even felt nausea once or twice, it's like I wasn't even pregnant.

That is until I hit a wall. At just 24 weeks I suddenly had that overwhelming feeling of just being done. I felt so huge, I ached everywhere, I never got any sleep. I remember feeling so guilty about wanting to be done, when my baby couldn't even survive outside.....I would try SO HARD to wish for him to say in longer, but something in me just kept wishing him out. HOW? how could a mom wish that for her child? It makes me cry just thinking about it, but it's how I felt. I didn't want to feel that way, I'm ashamed to have felt that way, but I did. I was only about 27 weeks, and I was wishing him out of me.

*side note, Coralee was early, full term, but early. All along I had a gut feeling Haakon would be early too, I just couldn't figure out if my gut was saying early early, or like full term early.*

I continued to be totally miserable for the next few weeks. Now I feel SO selfish for complaining at all, so selfish for not being willing to go through 40 weeks (really more like 20) of misery to keep him in longer. Finally though, at 33 weeks things started to happen. All weekend I noticed my swelling getting totally out of control, Coralee was born in September, so you better believe I was quite swollen with her in August, this was a different kind of swelling though, and I was pretty sure it wasn't good. I was fully expecting to be sent home from my Monday appointment with a stern talking to and a prescription for bed rest. Monday February 9th I head out to the dreaded appointment. Before they even have a chance to see my blood pressure they tell my that I was spilling lots of protein into my urine…..then comes the blood pressure, I can’t remember exactly what it was, but it was high, high enough for them to send me straight to labor and delivery for a 24 hour urine test and strict bed rest. By the time I walk over to the hospital they have decided that I will definitely be there for longer than the 24 hour test and in fact I would be staying until my baby was born. After being put on Magnesium sulfate for my blood pressure they think / hope we should be able to keep the baby in for at least a week, any days longer than that would just be a bonus. My midwives hand me over to the OBs and I explain to them that I have every intention of having a VABC. I realize at this point there may have to be an induction (drugs I would normally decline) involved, but I'm trying to stay confident and not let thoughts of a c-section even enter my mind. Naturally, however, my new OB tries immediately to deflate all my hopes of a VBAC and tells me not to even consider it at this point. I tried really hard to ignore her, until... Tuesday Feb 10th, I was told NOT to eat my breakfast, and to stop drinking anything. I knew this was NOT a good sign, they were getting me ready for a c-section.

Defeat! I was completely 100% defeated!

All my hours of VBAC research gone down the tube, wasted. It was much harder to stomach this c-section, as VBA2C are much harder to come by. But anyway, back to the fact that I'm having this boy 7 weeks early....What happened to keeping him in for another week? Did the labs I had drawn have something bad in them? We waited for the Doctor to come tell us the news. As it turns out, Haakon’s heart rate dropped slightly over night, and the doctor was worried the placenta might not be getting the nutrition it needs putting it at risk for a placental abruption. Before I even had time to realize what was going on I was being hurried off to the O.R. At 11:34am Haakon was born weighing in a 4lbs 4oz and 18 inches long. Haakon was intubated initially, but they were able to take that out after just a few hours. By Wednesday afternoon he was off air altogether. I continued to struggle with my blood pressure, but exactly a week later I was finally released from the hospital. My recovery from the actual surgery was awesome! I thought it was fast and easy the first time, this one was even better, and boy did I need it that way, Thank you LORD! The day I was released from the hospital we had Haakon transferred to a hospital that was a bit more convenient for us, no city parking, and close to my parents house (they were watching Coralee most of the time). After about a week and a half we got to try breastfeeding Haakon for the first time. Total frustration! The nurses were very reassuring though, reminding me that he is too small to have the strength to nurse very well yet. We kept at it. Eventually Haakon cleared all of his other hurdles (not many) he was able to regulate is body temperature, and was moved from his isolette to a normal bassinet (that was a very exciting day!) and he was gaining weight very well. We just needed to keep working on feedings. Eventually we learned to use a nipple shield (I wouldn't recommend this for everyone, but it's definitely better to nurse with one than not nurse at all). After celebrating valentines day, my birthday, and our anniversary (24 total days) in the NICU we finally brought our 'Hawk-man' home!

What a kid! He managed to start signing, saying his first word(s) "all done", and walking all in between his actual birthday and adjusted birthday.

This boy has stolen my heart!